Goodbye to a Great Calling

Today I was released from my church calling as 1st Counselor in the Stake Primary Presidency. If you don't read any more of this post (I don't blame you, it is lengthy and I sound all weepy and stuff) you will at least know that. I have actually known for a few weeks that this was coming but wasn't called in to speak with a Stake Presidency member until yesterday. Knowing so far in advance has been torture and these past few weeks have been hard for me to let the news sink in. I have served in the presidency, first as Secretary, then as 2nd Counselor, then as 1st Counselor and again as 1st Counselor under a different presidency and all of that within 3 1/2 years. It is such a sad thing to be released as I have watched children grow, leaders come and go, and now Primary feels like family to me. And giving up family is not easy.

When I was first called back in 2005 I felt so inadequate with my previous Primary service experience being a pianist in a couple Primaries and a counselor in a Primary presidency in a singles ward. Yes, a singles ward. We had a girl who was bringing her friend's kids (who came from an abusive household, really quite sad) and then our counselor in the bishopric also brought his kids so we had a small Primary in a singles ward at BYU. For this Stake calling, I was called long before I became a mother and it was quite a difficult thought to process that I would have a responsibility over leaders over children when I had had no children of my own. Times have changed and while I've gained some experience I have still felt like there was no way I could have done it all without the help of the Lord. I've been truly blessed.

Some of you know that we just barely had a change in our presidency and wonder why another change so soon. The sister who served as the president has had some recent challenges in her work as an owner of several homes that she sells or rents out in Utah and her trials come as no surprise when you consider the housing market these days. She is needing to commit more time to her investments and is unable to stay here. I'm sad to hear of her trials but she is strong and willing to work and that is comforting.

Meanwhile I've never had so many people seem interested in how long I've served in this calling as I have in these past few weeks. Of course no one knew that I was being released but I had a hard time talking about it without tearing up. Even today I felt like I just couldn't look around at everyone just before Stake Conference began because I saw too many faces I've come to know and love and I didn't want to bawl again. I've been a tad bit emotional these last few weeks but I've had my chance to wish the new ladies luck and now I can move on.

I had several Stake leaders come up to me and say they heard we were leaving soon and I know that was taken into consideration for my release. We may be here all of next year for all I know and from my last post I said that Neal had a job interview and going into it he was under the impression that he was only being considered for a position in Chicago but it turns out that he qualifies for the local lab opening as well so we very well may be here much longer, we'll see. That said, I do feel (deep down, somewhere) like this was the right thing being released from my calling but that doesn't stop me from missing it and being sad over it! I have had a wonderful 3 1/2 years in my callings and now another very capable friend of mine will be filling in for me. I'm excited for her and the new presidency!

So that's it. I'll just be hanging out for a while I suppose. Actually I'll be subbing in for our ward primary music leader this Sunday - just can't let go of it I know! I have learned so much from this calling and have enjoyed every minute of it. Thanks to everyone who have supported me in my callings, particularly Neal who has always been there to help me emotionally and spiritually and Aedan who for a long time was my travelling buddy to visits throughout the Stake. I'm going to miss it all!